Greetings,

Eddie Quette here again, with another installment of my ongoing campaign for excruciatingly appropriate behavior.

Our first question comes from to us from a Carol Gwenn, who writes

Q. "Mr. Quette, you simply  MUST help me! I'm a person of interest to
several major law enforcement agencies, for reasons you will deduce
below.  I must beg you, under no circumstance are you to reveal my
identity in your blog!

A. Thank you, Carol Gwenn, I'll see what I can do. Now what was your question?

Q. Oh, I am SO relieved!  I knew I could count on you Eddie! 
Anyway, when preparing to divest oneself of a troublesome tenant,
(those room renters of the lower sort), is it appropriate to arrive
bearing arms or is it acceptable to pick up whatever the lowlife have
to hand (gun, knife, etc.)  Also, must one wear a hat - as well as
gloves -- for such an occasion?  These may seem like unimportant
issues, but it's the small things, the grace notes,   that make life
worth living.

Greetings! My name is Eddie Quette, and the powers that be here at the Bunker Hill blog have requested that I write about proper behavior. Every week, hundreds of letters pour into the blog, asking about table manners, social refinement, polite human interactions, good taste, and the like. My job is to extract from this pile the most tasteful, insightful, and intelligent letters. Then I throw those away and attempt to respond to the rest.

So, without further ado, let's dip into the ol' mailbag and read our first letter. This comes to us from a
longtime resident of Highland Park.

Q. Hello, I'm from Highland Park....

A. We KNOW that, numbskull! It was in the intro!

A. Oh, sorry. Anyway, I've oft put off or bowed out of a ganking, as I struggle with what I imagine are common questions: is a pearl-handled
firearm gauche before dusk? Are they "not done" after Labor Day? Is an automatic more appropriate when holding up dinner parties than a revolver? Can I wear a blued nickel piece with brown shoes? Please advise!